when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
