Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
