so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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