i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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