I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
