is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
