What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
