are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
