He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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