Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
