you guys were way drunker than both of me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
