Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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