Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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