we're blogging at a bar
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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