Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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