Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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