return my video game
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
