I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
