The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
