Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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