She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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