He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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