There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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