The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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