I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
