He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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