sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
