what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
