How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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