I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
