Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
