Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
