Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
