is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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