STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
