She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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