You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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