somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
