ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Randomize
