look no pants
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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