dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
