The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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