So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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