You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
