How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
