Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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