so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
