We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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