I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
