i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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