i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
