you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
