it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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