My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
they're like a gay fantastic four
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
